A week of malaise

My own consciousness was in a fog this last week, but it seems to be re-emerging.

A funny thing on Thursday. I was revising breathing mechanisms with the first years, and one of the male students asked me in all seriousness- ‘Do men and women have the same number of ribs?’ Then ‘o no, I lost the bet last night in the pub...’ with some further mutterings about the bible speaking false.

I have been teaching them the meditation of breathing and they are finding it a delight – ‘Are we going to do it again? ‘ with excitement. So little time for silence these days.

Friday morning with second years at ArtsEd continues to be like a training atmosphere, with hands-on, lying down, and experimenting for themselves. One particularly useful experiment I set up for a girl who pulls her head back when she sings. Very simple – ‘Get Luke to video you as you sing and play it back and watch what you’re doing’ They had done a singing presentation the day before and I’d had some feedback from Andrew our singing teacher about that. I feel so blessed to be working in an atmosphere of sharing, acceptance and respect. Of course the student saw herself doing what everyone had been telling her. ‘But how can I stop that?’ and began her experiments at last in inhibiting it.

Another student, a very good young actor, uses too much effort and tension, and we experimented with him doing less, but still keeping the truth and driving intention. His confusion was that the physical theatre teacher expects him to take on different shapes to accentuate character, and then he has Alexander and singing and voice classes that ask him for his ‘neutral’, balanced state...how can both be right?

He felt so relieved when I said he could take on any shape at all that’s appropriate for the character, as long as it’s a conscious choice and done with direction. ‘It’s a technique – you have to apparently cheat it - make a fist, now keep the same shape but release some of the tension....’ 'Doesn't that become untruthful?' So we experimented with this on his Coward character who is frightfully angry at one point. The first time he was making his voice crack with the tension, then he played with keeping the truth but ‘doing’ less – o my goodness, his voice powered out! He broke into a big smile and understood how FM he speak truth. So pleased – I had been aware of his tying himself up in knots for a while, and so good at last for him to express his beliefs and to have his own realisations.

MA’s were very low key on Friday. Like me, all rather tired, a few absent with illness. I think they all caught it off the director who came in with a heavy cold on Monday. His office is very small – like a large cupboard in which also sits the photocopier. AJ is not brilliant anyway first thing in the morning and there he was sitting at his desk visibly drooping whilst I was bumbling about on the photocopier and his assistant from Iran was passionately expressing his difficulties in finding work as a director or actor. I felt for him. So on Friday, one lad was still recovering and did look very pale and unlike his usual jolly self. Hurrah! He was far too tired to ‘do’ his habit, end-gain etc and try hard. For once he experienced himself coming ‘up’ and walking with that effortless floating sensation. Now he just has to marry that with being well.

Twelfth Night is out on tour in schools next week already. I saw them swanning about the corridor on Friday in their swashbuckling pirate costumes and thought they looked fantastic! I had done very little work with them on Thursday – just notes on the run I had seen – but most of them were stuck on the tube at Earls Court and didn’t make it in. They very kindly trooped into the staffroom and apologised to me the next day. I was very touched.

One of the girls said as a special favour to me she would really work with not bracing her legs and tightening her back.....I won’t be able to see them till they play the main house the week after. Perhaps I should offer her a bar of chocolate as an enticement? I go with inducement rather than violence – I heard that FM would stand in the wings and threaten to throw a heavy book at Henry Irving if he should dare to pull his head back.

The weekend has been a joy. Another pleasant evening on Friday with my friend J, with tea wine and chicken casserole with sweet potato, before setting off for home on the tube. I walked smartly up from Mansion House. I want to keep up some exercise in the week and I have completely blown it this week with my swimming – staying in for workmen, fogginess and social occasions put pay to that this week. I instead walked into Covent Garden on Saturday and half ran and walked to British Museum today. Several joggers went buy and I noticed one on his toes and remembered how AT teacher and runner, Malcom Balk suggests this in his running workshops. I experimented and it certainly made me springier. If he is doing another workshop soon I shall maybe attend.

My student Peter last year who does triathlons knocked off 40 minutes from his time last year in the marathon. He came over to Alonnisos for one of the workshops in the summer, and apart from his ability to sink in the water rather than float (very heavy muscular legs), we noticed he was tripping down the mule track on his toes.

I tried running some years ago with a vague idea to train up for the marathon. I was teaching at The Broadgate Club and influenced by working with a very fit German trader who, following our AT lessons, successfully reduced his time in the London marathon and his fatigue – managed to walk home to Mayfair afterwards still feeling ‘up’ whereas before he would have lain flat out on the ground, moaning ,muscles aching. Inspired, I thought perhaps I could do havea go. It never got off the ground as after 4 weeks I ruined the ligaments in my feet – I wasn’t wearing good trainers and was running on hard pavements with flat feet. Ouch.

So it was with delight today that I realised as I was running that I really enjoyed fast movement and perhaps my ligament problem was over. Watch this space. Half an hour running would take less time than half an hour of swimming. That sounds absurd, but I mean that it takes more time to walk to the swimming pool, get undressed and showered and into the pool and the reverse on the way out.

In going over my week of malaise, I realise still quite a lot was achieved despite my foggy consciousness. Maybe that is like my students being ill and not able to do and try so much. I can’t say I enjoyed my fogginess. But then I guess my students don’t like having colds.